I had a long car ride today to think on somethings. And it's all kind of a spaghetti mash up but makes complete sense to me. I am not sure I can even explain it in a way that will make sense, tie all my thoughts together but here is what was jumbling around:
-I love and adore my children. I had the best time this weekend watching them run around and experience a theme park. We ate junk. They rode roller coasters and rides. We saw and did so many fun things and seeing them through my kids eyes made my experience better. And they were great. Well behaved and happy for the most part. Even Emerson was a laid back little dude.
-Today is the first Sunday of the Advent season. It is the Sunday of hope. Just thinking of all that hope brings us...and how much faith we have to have in God and His promises to hold on to the hope of Jesus. That's huge and amazing. And that hope, that type of lifting up heart happy, is something I want my children to have. I want them to have faith in something bigger and more wonderful than what their reality is now.
-I am happy. Not all day everyday. That's impossible. But I am happy. Content in my life. Things aren't perfect. I burn dinners and sometime struggle through parenting and keeping a good marriage and have moments where I would really just like to go pee by myself without a little person following right behind jabbering at me. But at the end of the day I can look back and smile. I am blessed with so much. And the people in my life are fantastic. And total blessings. Amazing. Life's pretty good.
So, here is where all that get's spaghetti-ed (and it makes sense in my mind to draw this specific conclusion from those three things): My happiness is not the responsibility of my children. They are a source of happiness, for sure of course duh, but they do not--nor should they (ever)--bear the responsibility for my happiness. In fact, my job as a parent is to not only teach them practical basics of survival, but to impart to them how to find hope, happiness, satisfaction/contentment, and build stability so those things flourish in their lives. My example of (hopefully) finding happiness primarily within then with other people/places/things building on what is there already is what I hope to show my kiddos. I want them to look within for happiness and validation and all that fuzzy warm good stuff and not look to other people to give those things to them. I feel like I am maybe not making a whole lot of sense.
And I am sure that sounds terribly preachy and soapboxy and maybe snarky. But I really do not mean it to be. I just know I never want my kiddos to feel pressure to do things just to make me happy. Because I want them to know that needs to come from your own little bubble...I want them to find it for themselves and not look for other people to give it to them. And then share the happy. :) Sharing the happy is the best.
-I love and adore my children. I had the best time this weekend watching them run around and experience a theme park. We ate junk. They rode roller coasters and rides. We saw and did so many fun things and seeing them through my kids eyes made my experience better. And they were great. Well behaved and happy for the most part. Even Emerson was a laid back little dude.
-Today is the first Sunday of the Advent season. It is the Sunday of hope. Just thinking of all that hope brings us...and how much faith we have to have in God and His promises to hold on to the hope of Jesus. That's huge and amazing. And that hope, that type of lifting up heart happy, is something I want my children to have. I want them to have faith in something bigger and more wonderful than what their reality is now.
-I am happy. Not all day everyday. That's impossible. But I am happy. Content in my life. Things aren't perfect. I burn dinners and sometime struggle through parenting and keeping a good marriage and have moments where I would really just like to go pee by myself without a little person following right behind jabbering at me. But at the end of the day I can look back and smile. I am blessed with so much. And the people in my life are fantastic. And total blessings. Amazing. Life's pretty good.
So, here is where all that get's spaghetti-ed (and it makes sense in my mind to draw this specific conclusion from those three things): My happiness is not the responsibility of my children. They are a source of happiness, for sure of course duh, but they do not--nor should they (ever)--bear the responsibility for my happiness. In fact, my job as a parent is to not only teach them practical basics of survival, but to impart to them how to find hope, happiness, satisfaction/contentment, and build stability so those things flourish in their lives. My example of (hopefully) finding happiness primarily within then with other people/places/things building on what is there already is what I hope to show my kiddos. I want them to look within for happiness and validation and all that fuzzy warm good stuff and not look to other people to give those things to them. I feel like I am maybe not making a whole lot of sense.
And I am sure that sounds terribly preachy and soapboxy and maybe snarky. But I really do not mean it to be. I just know I never want my kiddos to feel pressure to do things just to make me happy. Because I want them to know that needs to come from your own little bubble...I want them to find it for themselves and not look for other people to give it to them. And then share the happy. :) Sharing the happy is the best.
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